Today completes one full week without Ty. There just are no words to describe what one's heart feels like after losing a beloved dog. Those of you who know, know.
I have gone out a few times, and struggled a bit. I know it's ridiculous to think the world would stop, even for a moment, but on some level, it feels strange that it doesn't.
I'm so thankful Cliff had last week off. I truly do not know what I would have done without him here. It was not the vacation we had planned, but the timing of his time off could not have been better. Little did we know, when he put in for that week, what would be coming our way. Thank you, Lord, for helping us choose that week.
Yesterday and today I worked on cleaning the car. It was time, and while it never gets that dirty, I think I just needed to do something productive. We are now down to just two dogs, so I took the other crates out of the car. I took Ty's crate tag off his crate, and set it next to his ashes, and tree. I think I will put it in the box, with his collar. That seems the most appropriate place for those items. I removed his collar tag, and with a small clip I had, I hung it from his tree. It looks like it belongs there.
This weekend we will move Ty and his tree to the shelf above our bed, where it will stay. For now, he sits on my desk, where I can see him throughout the day.
Bringing home his ashes was very emotional. On the one hand, I'm glad to have him home. On the other hand, they stand as a painful reminder of our loss. My sister said something to me yesterday, as I sat crying, holding that small box, she said, "remember, he is with you now, through God. What was left behind was a jacket. He's warm in your heart now, so he no longer needs his jacket..." Those words were very comforting, and when I feel the sting of the loss, looking at his small box, I remember her words.
As I look back on one of the most painful experiences of my life, I am in awe of the special people who stood by me, through it all. Some I know, many I don't. The outpouring of support was overwhelming. Emails, instant messages, texts, calls. Most everyone had something kind to say, or a story to share. To those who showed love and kindness, compassion and caring, my thanks are yours. I responded as best I could, and while I'm sure I missed some of you, it was not because I wasn't touched, it was just that sometimes I couldn't come up with the words, or I was just too overcome with emotion. Please know that your kindnesses mattered more than you can imagine. I can't begin to tell you just how grateful I am. From the bottom of my heart, thank you...or as we prefer to say now, TY.